The Dance by Carr Suzie

Author:Carr, Suzie [Carr, Suzie]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Publisher: Sunny Bee Books, LLC
Published: 2016-02-15T16:00:00+00:00

~ ~

Sophie sat on her bed, hearing giggles from Jacky and Brooke in the living room downstairs.

It had been a long time since she heard Jacky giggle.

Sophie picked up a picture of her mother on her bedside table. She had only then, in that moment – an entire ten hours after waking – thought of her mom. Guilt stabbed at her.

For the first time since her death, Sophie did what she said she’d never do, she traveled through the whole day without once pausing to consider her mother.

She clutched the memory bead around her neck. “I’m sorry Mom. I didn’t mean it.” She buried her head in her hands, willing a good cry.

No tears came.

Sophie searched her mind for a clear picture of her mother, but no matter how hard she squeezed her eyes shut, she couldn’t see her mother’s face. She couldn’t remember what her mother looked like. She opened her eyes and stared at the picture of her swinging a bat at Cold State Park. She searched the laughter on her face for signs of her mother, the mother she remembered as her confidant, her lucky charm, and her co-joker when it came to messing with Jacky’s Type A personality. Together they could be a menace, always trailing one step behind Jacky to tinker with a pillow she had just fluffed or to toss one of Rosy’s toys on the floor after she just tidied up the living room.

Sophie couldn’t picture her face anymore. She couldn’t smell her fruity shampoo. She couldn’t hear the high-pitched laugh she’d create when she or Jacky tickled her belly. She couldn’t remember what her latest hairstyle looked like. Was it wavy or straight? Was it highlighted or lowlighted with a chestnut hue?

Oh my God! You’re gone.

She imagined her mother standing in a bed of clouds, waiting to hear from her, and then falling to her knees and choking on the fog when she never checked in that day.

Sophie rolled over on her side. How could she forget her mother for the entire day?

She lay on her bed, massaging the memory bead – all she had left of her mother in the physical state. She stretched and picked up the picture of her mother and Jacky sharing a pile of crabs on Fourth of July. She traced her finger down her mother’s cheek. “I should’ve checked in today.”

Sophie continued to massage the memory bead around her neck. “I wish you were still here. I wish we could snuggle up under our favorite blanket on the couch, the velvet one with white swirls, not that green one you tried to get me to like so much, and watch that Cosmos show. The other day, they talked about universes the size of pinheads on every surface of the Earth. With so many universes, you’ve got to be in one of them. Maybe this bead is a universe and you’re living there.”

She undid the necklace and stared at the wisps of white mixed with the sea green glass bead, a touch the artist had derived from her mother’s Irish green eyes.

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